George Schwab writes in his book Right in Their Own Eyes,
The book of Judges is about God’s forging for himself a community of worshipers in a time when all the people ‘did what was right in their own eyes (Judg. 21:25)’. This indictment was not about the pagan nations surrounding Israel–it was about Israel itself. Can it be said that we live in such an age today?[i]
He goes on to point out all the immorality, greed, and indifference to the things of God in the lives of many of God’s people. Distracted by the good life but forfeiting the best life. After serving in pastoral ministry for forty-three years, you begin noticing trends and changes in the life of the church. One of the most pronounced changes I’ve witnessed is how families are often broken today.
Though the pain of divorce is great, the social stigma of divorce is not as great as it once was. I realize that there are many who are divorced that didn’t want that to happen in their marriage and fought for them, but the other party walked away from their marital covenant. But the question that we need to ask is, is this the answer to difficult marital situations? Is this the best way to address relational tension in our homes? Are we simply running away from the problems? In one survey couples who have chosen to struggle through the early years of marital adjustment and difficulty found greater happiness afterwards. In that same survey 80% were happier after working through their issues, and 72% were more successful in their jobs, and with their children.
For those who are struggling and praying for God to do something, He often answers in ways that at first may seem like He’s indifferent. The reason is that God rarely does things our way. He rarely answers prayers according to our way of thinking. As a matter of fact, the Scriptures teach that our thoughts and ways are different than God’s. The prophet Isaiah drove that truth home.
‘For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD. ‘As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.’[ii]
Augustine, the noted Christian leader, once wrote about his mother Monica who was praying for her prodigal, wayward son. She prayed earnestly that he would not sail for Italy, for she feared that this would be the worst possible decision. There were too many bad influences there. Augustine was later to write about that time:
And what was she begging of you, my God, with such abundant tears? Surely, that you would not allow me to sail away. But in your deep wisdom you acted in her truest interests: you listened to the real nub of her longing and took no heed of what she was asking at this particular moment, for you meant to make me into what she was asking for all the time.[iii]
Augustine went to Italy–but it was there He found Christ.
How often has God said no to my earnest prayers that He might answer my deepest longings, and give me something more, something better.[iv]
There is an obscure text speaking to the great need for godly women who desire to be instrumental in their lives and service to Christ. There is an incredible need for spiritual mothers in the faith. Even a man like the apostle Paul found a mother in the Lord, that encouraged his spiritual growth and development.
Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, and his mother, who has been a mother to me, too.[v]
In Romans 16, we find many greetings that Paul is bringing to these believers at Rome, and then we come across this text. An unnamed mother of one man, Rufus, is described as a mother-like figure to the apostle Paul. Can you imagine being a support, and an encouragement to the apostle Paul? We never know when we are blessing people how our influence can encourage people of great significance.
Three words summarize in my mind what a mother is all about. These words are found in three different texts.
1. The most powerful word to describe a mother is one who comforts children.
Notice when God describes Himself as a comforter of His people, he uses the picture of a mother comforting a child. Mothering speaks of comfort. It is one of the necessary ingredients in nurturing a child.
As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.[vi]
When the apostle Paul was describing his ministry to new believers in Thessalonica, he described himself as a caring mother.
Just as a nursing mother cares for her children, so we cared for you. Because we loved you so much, we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well.[vii]
The New American Standard Version of the Bible describes this role as a ‘nursing mother tenderly caring for her children. Gentle care is a quality of mothering. Mothering is the sharing of our lives with others for their benefit.
3. The third word is the mother’s influence in the child’s life.
Writer Calvin Miller shares the impact his mother had on his life.
My mother’s opinion meant a lot to me, so I introduced her to every perspective marriage partner. Then I brought Barbara by, and one look at Barbara my mother said, ‘This is the one!’ ‘How do you know, Mom?’
‘Look how she loves you. Son, I’ve loved you for twenty-three years. Son, you’re creative and artistic and, believe me, you’re going to take a lot of special understanding. Every poet needs a pragmatist to keep his feet on solid ground.’[viii]
As you listen to Calvin Miller appreciate the wisdom and love of his mother, something within stirs your heart. Either a longing for such love, or a thankfulness for having that kind of mother. I recognize that this may not have been your experience, but it can be your legacy to your children, or spiritual children.
In Timothy’s life we find the lifestyle of two godly women impacting the life of a godly young Christian leader. In writing to his son in the faith, Paul reminds Timothy of the great influence of two women who nurtured his faith.
I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also.[ix]
What is missing is the mention of his father, but as the Scriptures states in another text, that his father was a Greek, possibly a non-believer, and had little spiritual impact on his life (cf. Acts 16:3). Later we read of the incredible impact that Paul had on Timothy’s life as he considered him like a ‘son’ in the faith (Phil. 2:19-22).
There is nothing more powerful than a living example or demonstration of genuine faith and how that is expressed in day-to-day living. There is a tremendous need today for mature, godly women to encourage, comfort, care for, and instruct others.
One of the reasons why the early church had such a powerful impact on the life of the culture was the commitment of godly, Christian women. Listen to the testimony of a 4th Century pagan philosopher by the name of Libanius: “What women these Christians have.”[x] Here are a few other comments made by early Christian leaders.
The circle of Roman women who studied with Jerome in the late 300s showed such scholarship that he thought nothing of referring some church elders to Marcella for the resolution of a hermeneutical [biblical interpretation] problem. By the early 400s, Augustine could declare that ‘any old Christian woman’ was better educated in spiritual matters than many a philosopher. The women’s spiritual zeal exploded into social service. Fabiola founded the first Christian hospital in Europe.[xi]
I want to focus our minds on the power of spiritual mothers, which are women of faith and influence. What does it mean to be a mother in the Lord, a woman who nurtures or encourages young men and women in their faith? The apostle Paul in writing to Titus gives some specific instructions to older and more mature women in the life of the church.
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.[xii]
From this text we find both the way the more mature women should live, and what they should be communicating to others. This does not rule out women who have never had children. What Paul is speaking about is Christian maturity. The church is desperately in need of godly, mature women who will invest their lives in others. From this text I want to focus on two ingredients in effectively conveying the life of God to others. This is true in both men and women.
THE FIRST INGREDIENT IN EFFECTIVELY CONVEYING THE LIFE OF GOD TO OTHERS IS TO LIVE A CONSISTENT GODLY LIFESTYLE
People need to see a demonstration of godliness in our lives. Young people need to see godliness lived out. Young women need models. Young men, need to see what kind of a women that they ought to marry. There is a great need for godliness to be modeled and taught to others, both those who are our children, and people we take under our wing to empower.
A. Regarding their testimony.
Paul challenges older women by giving several expressions of personal piety. The language expressed here is regarding her ‘state of mind, which should be suited to a person of sacred character. She was to be “reverent in demeanor.” The picture Paul is painting is of a priest in the temple. A person who holds a sacred office. “They are to carry into daily life the demeanor of a priestess in the temple.”[xiii]
These actions and expressions of maternal care are to be done as unto the Lord.
B. Regarding their tongue.
The challenge presented to the women (also men) in the church is that they are not to slander others. These women were not to go about gossiping and diminishing the standing of others. The word slander, used here, in the singular is the word we translate as devil. His primary role is to make false accusations against others.
Old age is at times intolerant, censorious, even bitter, forgetful especially of the days of youth; but Christ’s aged saints must use their voice for better things than these.[xiv]
It is so easy to become critical of others, and here Paul is teaching Titus that their tongues are to be used to build up, encourage others in their walk with God. One of the temptations of parents is to focus on a child’s faults, rather than zero in on good qualities that need to be encouraged.
C. Regarding their thirst.
They are not addicted to much wine. It is interesting that no priest was allowed to drink wine while performing their priestly duties, for this would have the potential of disgracing their office. Here the functions of the mature women in the Lord are about performing a godly function in a godly manner. They are not to be in the bondage of addictions. Addictions have a way of obscuring our judgment.
James Houston defines addiction as ‘being so completely possessed that one is enslaved, deprived of inner freedom, and ultimately of personal integrity. It is the ghastly process of “losing one’s soul.” Unless one wrestles to overcome the addictive habit, no change is possible, only destruction. Addiction, then, means being caught, taken possession of and then destroyed, but it requires the first step, namely the willingness to be taken.’[xv]
How do you discover addictive behavior? “Very simply, you watch for undisciplined compulsions.”[xvi]
D. Regarding what they must teach.
They were to communicate what they had learned through their faith walk. We can only teach what we have experienced. What is God teaching you? How are you putting it into practice in your own life? Experience is a powerful teacher. We can read all the books we want, listen to all the sermons and teachings possible, but when we have walked through it, been scarred by life, found God to be faithful, what is now being passed on are words spoken with authority, because they are words carved out of reality and experience.
We live in a culture that does not honor the aged. We relegate them to a realm where, for the most part, they are on the outside looking in. How unwise we have become. We do not honor those whose lives have been lived well before us. We have done this to our own hurt and sorrow. Our successes depend upon those who have gone before and have laid a godly foundation for us. Obviously, that’s a generalization. There are some notable exceptions where wise young people value and honor what they learned from those who have nurtured them.
Dr. Benjamin Carson, a renowned surgeon at Johns Hopkins, tells a moving story about his mother. Mrs. Carson insisted that Ben and his brother Curtis write a book report every couple of weeks. This wasn’t for school, this was for their mom. Ben and Curtis dutifully obeyed. About the time he was in junior high, Ben finally realized something quite shocking. His mom couldn’t read. For years Ben had read books and scratched out reports, assuming that his mom was checking every word. But she didn’t have a clue what he was saying. Now consider this: raised by an illiterate mother, Ben grew up to be a world-famous surgeon who was featured in many articles and was the author of several books. His illiterate mom didn’t twist her hands over her lack of learning and give up hope of raising intelligent boys. Instead, she gave her boys what she had: interest, accountability, and the courage to demand extra work. And it paid off. Years later, someone asked Ben why his mother still lived with him, even after he was married and had a family of his own. ‘You don’t understand,’ Ben answered. ‘If it weren’t for that woman, I wouldn’t be living here. She earned this.[xvii]</SPAN>
Notice what the older women are to teach. They are to teach them what is good. As we will see in a few moments exactly what are the good things they are to teach and to whom they should be teaching these things to.
These words are equally true for us as men. Notice the little expression, at the beginning of verse 3, likewise. Paul had just finished giving instructions to the older men in verses 1 and 2 speaking of the same kind of consistent godly lifestyle that older men in the congregation ought to live, and how their lives should be a model and an example for younger people to follow.
THE SECOND INGREDIENT IN EFFECTIVELY CONVEYING THE LIFE OF GOD TO OTHERS IS TO TRAIN OTHERS HOW THEY CAN LIVE A CONSISTENT GODLY LIFESTYLE
The Christian life is not to be lived in isolation, but rather we are all called to disciple others. We have a responsibility to others. Christianity is about loving our neighbors, as we love ourselves. There is a great need for mentors, mothers in the faith, fathers in the Lord, people who will come alongside of others who are younger, weaker, those who are struggling, the new, the untrained and help them become strong and vibrant in their walk with God.
It is obvious that if only a few people take this spiritual parenting, mentoring, encouraging to heart, that many will be neglected. I was fortunate as a young believer to have one of the pastors and one of the elders at my church who met with several young men in the church. We would come together to pray and share our lives together. Just praying with these men and allowing them to speak into my life had such a profound impact on me, and it is one of the primary reasons why I’m in the ministry today.
Notice how Paul moves from strictly communicating truth, which is what teaching is, to the more difficult task of training. It is one thing to say something, it is another to show someone how to do it. Training is hands on. It is taking time to walk through the process with someone else. It requires patience, it requires perseverance. The verb for train here means “to restore one to his senses, to make sound minded.”[xviii]
The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands, the foolish one tears hers down.[xix]
We must make our homes a healthy place and extend our ministries beyond the home into the lives of others. We edge out, we embrace others that God directs us to, to nurture their souls, to disciple another. What were these older women to train the young women to do?
Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.[xx]
Too often we assume that these ingredients of a loving home life will come naturally to people, but they don’t. We must be trained. We must be willing to be instructed and corrected where necessary. Some are fortunate to grow up in a home where they are being trained and these qualities are demonstrated and modeled. However, this is not generally the case. Many homes today are in disarray because these ingredients were never demonstrated. So, what were they to be trained to do? What are we to be trained to do?
1. First, they were to be trained to love their husbands and children.
There is a great need for affection in the home. Wives need to be affectionate mothers for their children to experience affection. This love is also demonstrated by showing respect toward their husbands.
2. Young women need to learn to become self-controlled. Obviously, this is something that needs to be taught in all our lives.
3. To be pure, literally chaste. It speaks of moral purity.
This is true for every Christian life, whether male or female.
4. To be busy at home. This speaks of her sphere of influence is within her home. She is busy there, being a blessing to her husband and to her children. Such a wife is to be distinguished from the busybody whose idleness is a curse to her and all her acquaintances.
Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies, who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to.[xxi]
5. To be kind. Thomas Lea, and Hayne Griffin write: the idea of kind, (agatha) would indicate a lack of irritability in light of the nagging demands of mundane and routine household duties.”[xxii]
6. To be subject to their own husbands.
What is meant by this idea of submission?
This word delivers the passage from any charge of inculcating the ‘inferiority’ of women to men, and shews that the subordination is one of function, within the intimate circle of the home.[xxiii]
Why? This is how the older godly women were living and training younger women. This would have a profound impact on the culture. When we embrace God’s ways it will enrich the lives of people. Paul states that when we obey it removes the criticisms often leveled at believers. This is so that no one will malign the word of God. Listen to the testimony of an atheistic culture, regarding the impact of people who are living biblically.
According to Open Doors Ministry, Chinese government officials became so fed up with sky-high rates of crime, drug addiction, and sickness in the county of Lancan Lahu, Yunnan province, that in the mid-1990s they turned for help to the only model citizens in the area: the Christians.
We had to admit that the Lahu people were dead loss because of their addiction to opium, confessed an official who did not want to be named. Their addiction made them weak and sick. Then they would go to one of their ‘priests,’ who required animal sacrifices of such extravagance that the people became poor. And because they were so poor, they stole from each other, and law and order deteriorated. It was a vicious cycle that no amount of government propaganda could break.
We noticed, however, that in some villages in the county, the Lahu were prosperous and peaceful. There was no drug problem, or any stealing or social order problems. Households had a plentiful supply of pigs, oxen, and chickens. So, we commissioned a survey to find out why these villages were different. To our astonishment and embarrassment, we discovered the key factor was that these villages had a majority of Christians.
Officials launched a daring experiment in 1998, the likes of which would have been unthinkable in China 10 years previous they sponsored Christians to go into the troublesome villages and share their faith.
They started by picking out the worst village, which had 240 people, 107 of which were hopelessly addicted to opium. Christian Lahus were bussed into the village at government expense, and the villagers were herded together by the police and made to listen to the testimonies of the Christians. A year later, there were 17 converts in the village, and they began to grow rich because they stopped spending money on drugs. Eight of the 17 converts even had enough to own sewing machines and start small businesses. By early 2002, 83 of the villagers were Christians and the prosperity had spread. The government official said, ‘We are delighted with the results and have been extending the tactic to many other villages since then.’[xxiv]
</SPAN><DIV align=right class=smalltext style=”MARGIN: 3px”>No wonder Libanius, that ancient pagan philosopher marveled: What women these Christians have. When we obediently follow God’s order, we will experience God’s blessings. The great devotional writer, Oswald Chambers once wrote: “When you meet a man or woman who puts Jesus Christ first, knit that one to your soul.[xxv]
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[i] George Schwab, ‘Right in their Own Eyes,’ (Phillipsburg, N.J.: P & R Publishing Company, 2011), xv.
[ii] Isaiah 55:8-9, The New International Version of the Bible, Zondervan, 2011.
[iii] St. Augustine, The Confessions, Translated by Maria Boulding, (New York, N.Y.: Vintage Spiritual Classics, 1998), 86.
[iv] Ruth Bell as quoted by Robert J. Morgan, “Nelson’s Annual Preacher’s Sourcebook, 2003 Edition, (Nashville, Tn: Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2002), 177.
[v] Romans 16:13.
[vi] Isaiah 66:13.
[vii] 1 Thessalonians 2:7b-8.
[viii] Calvin Miller, “Good Proverbs and Good Parenting”, ed. Gloria Gaither, from What My Parents Did Right, 165-170.
[ix] 2 Timothy 1:5.
[x] Quick Quotes on Women in the Early Church, Christian History, (Issue 17, 1988), 4.
[xi] Catherine Kroeger, The Neglected History of Women in the Early Church, in Women in the Early Church, Christian History, (Issue 17, 1988), 6.
[xii] Titus 2:3-5.
[xiii] Walter Lock, The Pastoral Epistles, (International Critical Commentary, 1924), as quoted by Donald Guthrie, The Pastoral Epistles, TNTC, (Grand Rapids, Mi: Eerdman’s Publishing Co., 1989 reprint), 192.
[xiv] Henry. D. M. Spence, The Pastoral Epistle of St. Paul, Ellicott’s Commentary on the Whole Bible, Vol. VIII. (Grand Rapids, Mi: Zondervan Publishing House, 1950 reprint), 49.
[xv] James Houston, The Heart’s Desire: Satisfying the Hunger of the Soul, (Colorado Springs, Co: NavPress, 1996), 56.
[xvi] Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline, Revised edition (San Francisco, Harper Collins Publisher, 1988), 91.
[xvii] Kevin Leman, ‘What a Difference a Daddy Makes’, (Thomas Nelson Publishers, 2000), pp.57-58.
[xviii] Homer A. Kent, Jr. The Pastoral Epistles, (Chicago, Il: Moody Press, reprint 1982), 222.
[xix] Proverbs 14:1.
[xx] Titus 2:4-5.
[xxi] 1 Timothy 5:13.
[xxii] Thomas Lea, and Hayne Griffin, 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus, New American Bible Commentary, vol. 34, (Nashville, Tn: Broadman & Holman Publishers, 1992), 301.
[xxiii] E. G. Selwyn, The First Epistle of St. Peter (London: Macmillan, 1958), 182, as quoted in Thomas Lea, and Hayne Griffin, 1 & 2 Timothy, Titus, 301.
[xxiv] The Pastors Connection (Open Doors USA e-mail, August 2002); corroborated by Kelly Callaghan, prayer and courier coordinator, Open Doors USA; OpenDoors serves the persecuted church worldwide.
[xxv] Oswald Chambers, So I Send You/Workmen of God (Discovery House, 1993), p. 35.
