Each of us lives out our lives within the framework of a greater story. From the very beginning of time, God’s plan is to reveal His amazing love to us, despite our sin. Our sin not only affects our lives but also affects the lives of others. So, many people today are experiencing pain from the sins of others. How do we handle that? One of the greatest tools is forgiveness as it frees us from carrying that hurt, but it does not always change our circumstances. How do we live with the negative circumstances that other people’s sin has caused us?
In their book Learning Life Principles from the Women of the Bible: Book Two, authors Wayne Barber, Eddie Rasnake, and Richard Shepherd explain how the sins of others impact us. Injustice is very real.
Isn’t it interesting how we all have to bear up under other’s sin from time to time? No one is exempt—especially in a personal relationship. Don’t beat yourself up! You are no different than so many others who face similar circumstances and consequences.[i]
The lives we find in the Bible often mirror our own lives with its heartaches and disappointments, its joy, and victories. When we read the Bible, what comes before us is an accurate account of life, not as it should be, but rather as it actually is. We also need to remind ourselves that different times have different mores and customs, but this does not mean that God has a different moral standard. Truth, justice, forgiveness, and love are always part of God’s standard for our lives.
We are going to look at the life of an often-forgotten person; a woman that God used in a powerful way to help shape not only a family but a nation. Her name is Leah, and we find her story beginning in Genesis 29, and she is mentioned twenty-eight times in the Bible.
Barber, Rasnake, and Shepherd introduce Leah’s story as one of unrequited love. In other words, it was a one-sided love story. She was hoping to be loved by her husband, Jacob; but his heart was elsewhere.
If you have ever been unloved and rejected by a spouse or any other person, then this lesson will hopefully minister to your heart. So many wives have sought for the love of their husbands—only to be rewarded with more rejection and hurt in their lives. In fact, studies have shown that feelings of rejection among women are a common occurrence today.[ii]
Here we examine the life of an amazing mother, who eventually was honored and deeply valued by her family and posterity. What were some of the characteristics in Leah’s life that made her such a wonderful, godly woman? How did Leah deal with being trapped in a loveless marriage? There are two things we discover about Leah that give us a clue as to her response in the situation. What can we learn from her life lessons that we can embrace? We are going to examine two things that will empower us in difficult and often unchanging life situations.
THE FIRST THING THAT EMPOWERS US IN DIFFICULT AND UNCHANING LIFE SITUATIONS IS HAVING A HEALTHY ATTITUDE, WHICH CAUSES US TO GROW AND DEVELOP
You may argue that she had no choice, but she did have a choice in her attitude moving forward. What forges character is learning to rise above the challenges and adversities in our lives. It always begins with our attitude. Will painful, unchanging, and difficult life situations define us, or will we rise above it, and allow it to be the tool that helps us become more loving, kind, understanding, and causes us to go deeper into our relationship with God?
Leah continued to try and make the best out of a challenging situation. Leah lived in the shadow of her sister, Rachel. Outwardly, Rachel was everything that Leah was not. Rachel was beautiful outwardly, and people were certainly drawn to her. Jacob fell in love with her. But what sustains relationships requires something beyond superficial outward things. There is a beauty that comes from within. Peter in his letter speaking of building a healthy marriage challenges wives to move past simply outward cosmetics.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.[iii]
One of the speakers at the Fellowship of Christian Assemblies Convention in Phoenix, Arizona, a few weeks ago shared the following illustration about a moment in the lives of farmers trying to understand what had happened to their crops. They had what appeared to be the perfect growing conditions and the right amount of sun and rain. The crops looked great until they opened the kernels and noticed that they had not developed properly. In their perplexity an older farmer explained that the problem had been ‘not enough wind.’ Wind aids in the maturation of grain by reducing moisture, aiding in nutrient development and strengthening the plant. Wind is a metaphor for adversity and challenge. God knows that if we do not have difficulties and challenges in our lives, we will struggle to develop into a mature and healthy person. This is certainly reflected in James’ remarks as a word of encouragement to believers who were struggling with persecution and incredible challenges.
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.[iv]
To understand the story, we need to go back to how Jacob first came to Haran, where his mother’s family lived. Jacob had deceived his father and had robbed his older brother of the blessings that Isaac desired to give to Esau. Jacob and Rebekkah, his mother, had schemed and were successful in deceiving Isaac, but it created a very unhealthy family environment. Esau nursed a deep grudge, hurt and anger that was only hindered by his desire not to wound his father by killing his brother. Rebekkah discovered that Esau intended to kill his brother once their father died, so she convinced Isaac to send Jacob away and marry someone from her family in Haran. Jacob then flees from his brother’s wrath and finds himself in Haran, living with his uncle, Laban. Here is where we pick up the story of Jacob finding a wife.
After Jacob had stayed with him for a whole month, Laban said to him, ‘Just because you are a relative of mine, should you work for me for nothing? Tell me what your wages should be.’ Now Laban had two daughters; the name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel. Leah had weak eyes, but Rachel had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Jacob was in love with Rachel and said, ‘I’ll work for you seven years in return for your younger daughter Rachel.’[v]
Kenneth Mathews explains the significance of the description of Leah.
The description of Leah’s eyes is uncertain. The term rakkôt (rak), rendered ‘weak’ in the NIV, may also be used of a ‘gentle’ maiden (Deut 28:56; Isa 47:1; cf. rakkôt, ‘gentle words,’ Job 40:27). Some EVs [English Versions] interpret the description of Leah positively, meaning she had ‘tender’ (AV), ‘delicate’ (NKJV, HCSB), or ‘lovely’ (NRSV, NJB, NAB) eyes. If so, the biblical author is describing the positive appeal of each woman, Leah’s eyes and Rachel’s form. The tenor of the passage, however, contrasts Leah and Rachel, first their order of birth and perhaps here their charm.[vi]
The traditional rendering ‘Leah’s eyes were weak’ is in need of reexamination. The adjective rak means ‘weak’ only in a few places… More often it describes something that is tender, gentle, soft, delicate, and young. In the last three references rak is parallel with na’ar, ‘inexperienced and youthful.’ Leah may be older, but her eyes are the beautiful eyes of a person who looks much younger.[vii]
We need to understand the story within its cultural context and then glean from it the principles God would have us learn from this challenging situation that Leah found herself in.
In the patriarchal times, women were under the authority of their fathers until marriage. If they became widowed, they were cared for by a male relative. Women were primarily daughters or mothers. In this culture of arranged marriages, with no opportunities for women to live a life apart from their parents or husbands, marriage was a significant moment that would determine the future life they would have.
Laban used Leah to deceive Jacob by switching his daughters regarding the marriage with Jacob. There is some irony in this occurrence as we see that Jacob had deceived his father and brother; by pretending he was the elder brother in order to secure his father’s blessing. Here we see the reverse happening. In Jacob’s case we see that Jacob was reaping what he had sown. The tragedy was that Leah was simply the instrument that her father utilized to deceive Jacob.
So Laban brought together all the people of the place and gave a feast. But when evening came, he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob, and Jacob made love to her. And Laban gave his servant Zilpah to his daughter as her attendant. When morning came, there was Leah! So Jacob said to Laban, ‘What is this you have done to me? I served you for Rachel, didn’t I? Why have you deceived me?’ Laban replied, ‘It is not the custom here to give the younger daughter in marriage before the older one. Finish this daughter’s bridal week; then we will give you the younger one also, in return for another seven years of work.’[viii]
Jacob labored for seven years as a bridal price, and then discovering he had been tricked, spent another seven years as a bridal price to obtain Rachel. Leah knew she had been used by her father to entrap Jacob into working for another seven years. Did she feel manipulated and used by her father? Did Leah feel shame that Jacob had been betrayed? Can you imagine how frustrated and angry Jacob had been? How much did he blame Leah, or did he understand that she had no choice and he directed his anger solely toward Laban? Regardless, we know where his affections and heart were directed to. He was in love with Leah’s younger sister and demanded that Laban give him Rachel for his bride.
What was the trial in Leah’s life? A feeling of being overlooked, used by others, and unloved by her husband because he was in love with her sister. There is no question from the biblical text that Leah felt unloved. We know that God was watching this family drama being played out and assessed that Leah was unloved. However, God showed special kindness and love toward Leah.
When the LORD saw the Leah was not loved, he enabled her to conceive, but Rachel remained childless.[ix]
The idea is one of comparison. It is not that Jacob hated Leah, but compared to the love he had for Rachel, Leah was the forgotten person. God saw her terrible state and responded with grace.
What was considered a great blessing in the ancient world was that a person was able to have children. In their world, with an underdeveloped understanding of life after death, the ancients focused on their legacy through their descendants. That’s why we see the importance of genealogy in the Old Testament in particular. We see that children were considered a great blessing as expressed in the Psalms.
Children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him.[x]
Blessed are all who fear the LORD, who walk in obedience to him. Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table.[xi]
What can we learn from this story? That God is personally watching over our lives and our families. He sees the heartaches we walk through. There are situations that we just can’t walk away from, but God gives special grace to us in those situations.
THE SECOND THING THAT EMPOWER US IN DIFFICULT AND UNCHANING LIFE SITUATIONS IS FINDING STRENGTH AND LOVE FROM GOD
We find the greatest source of strength, love, and grace from God. We move from trying to find our significance and meaning to this life in achievements and relationships, to experiencing and valuing God’s grace and favor to us.
We know that Leah had a faith in God as seen in the naming of her children. She looked to God to provide grace and blessing in her life. We see a shift happening as she moves from hoping that Jacob will love her to finally praising God for the gifts He has been giving her in the children surrounding her.
Leah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Reuben, for she said, ‘It is because the Lord has seen my misery. Surely my husband will love me now.’[xii]
She was living a terribly lonely and painful life. In naming her firstborn, Reuben, Leah is saying literally: ‘see a son.’ She is hoping that Jacob will finally see her and love her because of this son. However, this doesn’t change Jacob, but God has seen her miserable situation and had heard her cry. We know that she had been praying to God as we see in her naming her second son, Simeon.
Often troubled marriages assume that having children will change things, but as we see in this situation, it didn’t change the heart of Jacob and doesn’t make a bad marriage better.
She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, ‘Because the Lord heard that I am not loved, he gave me this one too.’ So she named him Simeon.”[xiii]
Leah is now directing her focus away from the challenging circumstances of her life to the wonderful aspect of her relationship with God. God is hearing her cry. Rather than naming her sons, ‘my distress’ or ‘unloved one,’ she chooses to name them, ‘see a son’, and ‘God has heard.’ We are seeing where Leah’s focus is. It is upon God’s gracious hand in her life. So, where is our focus in the challenging moments of our lives? Do we focus solely on the problems, the issues, and the challenges or do we see God’s gracious hand despite these things? Do we focus on the blessings that are all around us?
Leah then has two more significant sons, which is only seen by her descendants. She is about to have children that will impact the nation. The third son she calls Levi, which means to be attached or united. Though she was bearing Jacob’s sons, she did not sense any emotional attachment. This is still the cry of her heart to become emotionally bound to Jacob.
By the time the fourth son arrives her focus has shifted. She has moved from desire for the earthly attachment with Jacob, to gratitude and praise to God for His incredible blessings in her life. Instead of wanting, there is satisfaction. We have a plaque that I read almost daily in our home. It simply says: Gratitude turns what we have into enough. It is the secret of contentment. What God has blessed us with is enough.
She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, ‘This time I will praise the Lord.’ So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.[xiv]
Only with the birth of her fourth son does Leah say nothing about her lamentable situation. She names this child Judah and says I will praise Yahweh. …The birth of these last two sons is not without import. Levi, we remember, is the ancestor of the Levitical priests. Moses and Aaron are sons of Levites. From Judah issues the principal line of the monarchy. Two of the major OT institutions—priesthood and kingship—have their origins in an unwanted and unplanned marriage.[xv]
Here we gain a glimpse into the difference between Leah and Rachel. Rachel was jealous of her sister and complained to Jacob to give her children or she would die. This created tension between Jacob and Rachel.
When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children, she became jealous of her sister. So she said to Jacob, ‘Give me children, or I’ll die!’ Jacob became angry with her and said, ‘Am I in the place of God, who has kept you from having children?’[xvi]
Rachel then took desperate measures and gave her maid servant, Bildah, as a concubine to become a surrogate mother in her place.
Then she said, ‘Here is Bilhah, my servant. Sleep with her so that she can bear children for me and I too can build a family through her.’ So she gave him her servant Bilhah as a wife. Jacob slept with her, and she became pregnant and bore him a son. Then Rachel said, ‘God has vindicated me; he has listened to my plea and given me a son.’ Because of this she named him Dan. Rachel’s servant Bilhah conceived again and bore Jacob a second son. Then Rachel said, ‘I have had a great struggle with my sister, and I have won.’ So she named him Naphtali.[xvii]
This gives us an insight into Rachel’s jealousy regarding her sister. She was jealous that her sister was able to have a family and she was not. Now, we read that Leah also stopped bearing children and gave her maid servant, Zilpah, to become a surrogate mother on her behalf. Eventually, she resumed bearing two more sons.
God listened to Leah, and she became pregnant and bore Jacob a fifth son. Then Leah said, ‘God has rewarded me for giving my servant to my husband.’ So she named him Issachar. Leah conceived again and bore Jacob a sixth son. Then Leah said, ‘God has presented me with a precious gift. This time my husband will treat me with honor, because I have borne him six sons.’ So she named him Zebulun. Some time later she gave birth to a daughter and named her Dinah.[xviii]
The final son that Leah bore to Jacob, she called Zebulun which means honor. Leah’s desire was to be honored by her husband.
Barber, Rasnake, and Shepherd point out a very profound understanding of the growth and development in the life of Leah.
So we see that Leah bore a total of seven children to Jacob. Her six sons comprise half of the twelve tribes of Israel. Throughout Leah’s life, God honored her crying out to Him. She praised Him, and over time, her love for the Lord actually surpassed her love for Jacob. The love that God bestowed upon Leah provided her the stability she would need for the rest of her life.[xix]
Rachel finally had her first son, Joseph, whom Jacob showed preferential treatment toward and caused great jealousy among the brothers. Jacob’s beloved wife, Rachel died bearing Jacob his final son, and in her anguish, Rachel called him Benoni, meaning ‘son of my trouble’. Jacob renamed him, Benjamin meaning son of his right hand. Rachel was mourned and buried in Bethlehem. Yet as we conclude this family drama, we find Jacob finally honoring Leah in a very special way. In her death, Jacob has her buried in the family cemetery.
Then he gave them these instructions: ‘I am about to be gathered to my people. Bury me with my fathers in the cave in the field of Ephron the Hittite, the cave in the field of Machpelah, near Mamre in Canaan, which Abraham bought along with the field as a burial place from Ephron the Hittite. There Abraham and his wife Sarah were buried, there Isaac and his wife Rebekah were buried, and there I buried Leah. The field and the cave in it were bought from the Hittites.’[xx]
Jacob has Leah buried in the family cemetery where he asks his children to bury him with her. Leah was not only was the mother of the majority of his children, but after Rachel’s death she was likely the one that the family sought solace from.
So often in our lives we long for human love but face rejection and loss. Yet, God’s love can create within our hearts a deep sense of security and identity. As wonderful as human love is, there is no substitute for God’s love for us. Human love is conditional and limited. God’s love is unconditional and unlimited.
https://pixabay.com/photos/mother-child-walking-walk-1077334
[i] Wayne Barber, Eddie Rasnake, and Richard Shepherd, Learning Life Principles from the Women of the Bible: Book Two, (AMG Publishers, 2002), 64.
[ii] Ibid.
[iii] 1 Peter 3:3-5, The New International Version of the Bible, Zondervan, 2011.
[iv] James 1:2-4.
[v] Genesis 29:14-18.
[vi] Kenneth Mathews, Genesis 11:27-50:26, The New American Commentary, Vo. 1b, (Broadman & Holman Publishers, 2005), 467.
[vii] Victor Hamilton, The Book of Genesis: Chapters 18-50, NICOT (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans Publishing Company, 1995), 258-59.
[viii] Genesis 29:22-27.
[ix] Genesis 29:31.
[x] Psalm 127:3.
[xi] Psalm 128:1, 3.
[xii] Genesis 29:32.
[xiii] Genesis 29:33.
[xiv] Genesis 29:35.
[xv] Victor Hamilton, The Book of Genesis: Chapters 18-50, 268.
[xvi] Genesis 30:1-2.
[xvii] Genesis 30:3-8.
[xviii] Genesis 30:17-21.
[xix] Wayne Barber, Eddie Rasnake, and Richard Shepherd, Learning Life Principles from the Women of the Bible: Book Two, 61.
[xx] Genesis 49:29-32.
